VERY HANDSOME DUCK FLIPS YOU OFF AND RUNS OFF INTO THE WOODS [[RUN AFTER HIM|RUN AFTER HIM]] [[GO HOME|GO HOME]] [[WAIT HERE, HE'LL COME BACK|WAIT HERE, HE'LL COME BACK]]YOU'VE LOST HIM IN THE BRUSH! IT APPEARS SOMETHING IS MOVING TO THE EAST, AND TO THE WEST. [[GO EAST|FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCT]] [[GO WEST|CALI BOUND!]] [[SIT DOWN. YOU'VE HAD A LONG DAY.|SIT DOWN, YOU'VE HAD A LONG DAY]]SO LAME. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? [[LEARN THE INTRICACIES OF FINE DINING|LEARN THE INTRICACIES OF FINE DINING]] [[PLAY RISK WITH YOUR FRIENDS|PLAY RISK WITH YOUR FRIENDS]] [[LIFE IS BORING, GO TO SLEEP|LIFE IS BORING, GO TO SLEEP]]YOU THINK YOU SEE SOMETHING IN THE WOODS!!! [[WAIT LONGER, YOU DON'T TRUST NATURE|WAIT LONGER, YOU DON'T TRUST NATURE]] [[GO LOOK|FOLLOW IT]]THERE'S SO MANY OPTIONS! PLATES, FORKS, SPOONS...PROPER TABLE MANNERS. WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? [[FORKS|FORKS]] [[SPOONS|SPOONS]]YOU ALL GET ANGRY AT EACH OTHER. IT'S SUCH A RAGE-INDUCING GAME. YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. YOU HAVE NO HOPE. THE ONLY REAL JOKE HERE IS YOUR SOCIAL LIFE.YOUR BED IS SO COMFORTABLE. REST YOUR SUPPLE HEAD ON THE PILLOW. NIGHT LOOMS AND THE MOON SHINES IN THROUGH THE WINDOW. AT THE FOOT OF YOUR BED, A FACE APPEARS, WIDE EYES WITH JAGGED TEETH. [[COVER YOUR HEAD IN BLANKETS|PISS YOURSELF]] [[FUCK THIS SHIT! JUMP OUT THE WINDOW|DEATH]] [[ATTACK IT! DEATH TO THE OUTSIDER!|BED BATTLE]] [[ASK THE STRANGE CREATURE TO GRANT YOU A WISH|SLAIN]]YOU GROW OLD, REFLECT ON LIFE, AND UNDERSTAND HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS. BUT YOU DIE OF OLD AGE AND ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE GOES TO WASTE...IT WAS A SQUIRREL. IT FLIPS YOU OFF AND RUNS UP A TREE. [[NATURE IS CRUEL, SIT DOWN|WAIT HERE, HE'LL COME BACK]] [[CHASE THE SQUIRREL!|RUN AFTER HIM]]THE DUCK IS IN SIGHT! IT WADDLES AT TOP SPEEDS! YOU TUMBLE OVER THE BRUSH! SLIDE UNDER A BRANCH AND CARTWHEEL OUT OF A LASER BLAST'S PATH! WHEN DID HE GET A LASER?! HE LEAPS ONTO THE BACK OF A STAG, WHICH DARTS INTO THE TREES. YOU FOLLOW IN SUIT, LEAPING ONTO AN ELK! YOU CHARGE AFTER HIM! A LOW BRANCH IS IN FRONT OF YOU! [[DUCK!|DUCK!]] [[LEAP OVER IT!|LEAP]]You reach the road. There's a motorcycle sitting there on the road. What do you do? [[Go back, clearly the duck didn't come this way.|FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCT]] [[Take the motorcycle!|DANGER ZONE!!]]Double-click this passage to edit it.YO BLANKET STANKS! SHIVER IN YO SHAME! THE STRANGE CREATURE CRINGES AND WALKS AWAY, DISGUSTED BY YOUR PUDDLING COWARDICE. YOU FALL ASLEEP, BUT REGRET WHAT THIS DAY HAS BROUGHT TO YOUR LIFE.YOU DIE. I MEAN...SERIOUSLY...YOU WERE FOUR STORIES IN THE AIR. YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR SITUATION MORE.PRETTY EPIC. THE CREATURE DOES A WEIRD SHIKI DANCE, AND YOU KICK HIM IN THE FACE. IT HAS LITTLE AFFECT ON HIM. THE TWO OF YOU SQUARE UP. [[KICK HIM IN THE BALLS|BALL KICKER]] [[PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE|PUNCH]] [[GRAB YOUR ANTIQUE SWORD OFF THE WALL|SWORD WIELDER]]Double-click this passage to edit it.IT HAS NO EFFECT. IT'S A GIRL MONSTER, YOU SEXIST!! JEEZ, STOP ASSUMING SHIT. SERIOUSLY. IT EATS YOU. YOU'RE SO DEAD. I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU...AS A PERSON.IT GRABS YOUR TEETH WITH ITS MIGHTY MAW. I MEAN...IT OBVIOUSLY HAD A LOT OF TEETH. YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE THROUGHT THIS THROUGH. YOU...STUPID...IDIOT...WHAT'S SO FUNNY? YOUR CLEARLY LACKING EDUCATION.CHAOS ERUPTS THROUGHOUT YOUR BATTLE. YOU SLICE THE CREATURE IN HALF. ITS BLOOD SOAKS YOUR TIMID FRAME. ITS HEAD LIES AT YOUR FEET, STARING BLANKLY INTO YOUR EYES. THE SILENCE OF THE NIGHT TORMENTS YOUR SOUL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. HILARIOUS...YOU TRIP FORWARD. THE FORK STABS DIRECTLY THROUGH YOUR HEAD. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR DARING TO DREAM. FINE DINING IS FOR FANCY FOLK, NOT YOU.GOOD CHOICE. YOUR INTEREST IN FINE DINING LEADS TO A DINNER PARTY WHERE TOMMY WISEAU SHOWS UP. HE LOVES IT. "AH HEHE, I MUST SHOW THIS GREAT DINNER PARTY TO MY LISAAAAAA." [[ASK HIM IF HE HIT HER|I DID NOOOOOT]] [[ASK HIM TO SPREAD THE WORD|ASK HIM TO SPREAD THE WORD]] [[ASK HIM ABOUT HIS SEX LIFE|HOW'S YOUR SEX LIFE?]]"I DID NOT HIT HER! I DID NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! OH HI, MARK!" THERE'S NO ONE THERE. YOU START TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE... [[ASK HIM IF HE HIT HER|HE'S OFFENDED]] [[ASK HIM TO SPREAD THE WORD|ASK HIM TO SPREAD THE WORD]] [[ASK HIM ABOUT HIS SEX LIFE|HOW'S YOUR SEX LIFE?]]"You used me! And I don't care anymore!" [[ASK HIM IF HE HIT HER|I DID NOOOOOT]] [[ASK HIM ABOUT HIS SEX LIFE|HOW'S YOUR SEX LIFE?]]"Ah hehe, I con't tell you. Is confidentiaaaaaaal." [[ASK HIM IF HE HIT HER|I DID NOOOOOT]] [[ASK HIM TO SPREAD THE WORD|ASK HIM TO SPREAD THE WORD]]"I TOLD YOU I DID NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! I'M TIRED OF THIS WORLD!" HE SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE HEAD. YOUR PARTY IS A DISASTER. I GUESS YOU TURNED OUT TO BE THE REAL JOKE.Revvin' up your engine Listen to her howlin' roar Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go Highway to the Danger Zone Ride into the Danger Zone Headin' into twilight Spreadin' out her wings tonight She got you jumpin' off the deck And shovin' into overdrive Highway to the Danger Zone I'll take you Right into the Danger Zone They never say hello to you Until you get it on the red line overload You'll never know what you can do Until you get it up as high as you can go Out along the edge Is always where I burn to be The further on the edge The hotter the intensity Highway to the Danger Zone I'm gonna take you Right into the Danger Zone Highway to the Danger Zone Right into the Danger Zone Kenny Loggins rides up next to you in his own motorcycle and nods his head. His appreciation is as warm as the setting sun the two of you ride off into. There is nothing funny about this...only warmth and understanding.YOU DISTRACT HIM. HIS STAG RUNS INTO A TREE AND EXPLODES. THERE IS NOTHING LEFT. ONLY CARNAGE.YOU SOMERSAULT OVER THE BRANCH! SO NINJA! YOU ARE A COWBOY! TOO BAD THERE WASN'T ANYONE TO SEE THAT! THE DUCK IS IN FRONT OF YOU. [[FLIP IT OFF|FLIP IT OFF]] [[CLOSE IN|CLOSE IN]]THE DUCK LOOKS STARTLED. HIS DISTRACTED GAZE TAKES HIS ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE TREE IN FRONT OF HIM. HIS STAG RUNGS INTO THE TREE AND EXPLODES! FIRE IS EVERYWHERE. THE DUCK FLIES OFF INTO THE DISTANCE, FLICKING YOU OFF THE ENTIRE TIME. HE PULLS OUT HIS LASER AND SHOOTS YOUR ELK. IT EXPLODES. THE TWO OF YOU COLLAPSE NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN THE BRUSH. [[ATTACK HIM!!|FIGHT!!]] [[FLIP HIM OFF A SECOND TIME!|FUCK THAT GUY!]]YOU TWO REACH THE ROAD. Revvin' up your engine Listen to her howlin' roar Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go Highway to the Danger Zone Ride into the Danger Zone Headin' into twilight Spreadin' out her wings tonight She got you jumpin' off the deck And shovin' into overdrive Highway to the Danger Zone I'll take you Right into the Danger Zone They never say hello to you Until you get it on the red line overload You'll never know what you can do Until you get it up as high as you can go Out along the edge Is always where I burn to be The further on the edge The hotter the intensity Highway to the Danger Zone I'm gonna take you Right into the Danger Zone Highway to the Danger Zone Right into the Danger Zone KENNY LOGGINS RIDES UP NEXT TO THE TWO OF YOU AND NODS. THE DUCK FLICKS HIM OFF. YOU'RE ENTIRELY BAFFLED BY THE SITUATION. [[FLIP HIM OFF|FUCK THAT GUY!]] [[FLIP OFF KENNY LOGGINS|HOW DARE YOU!]] [[ENJOY THE MOMENT. THIS IS EPIC|EPIC ENDING]]KUNG FU DUCK BATTLE! YOU TWO ARE EVENLY MATCHED. YOU GUYS FIGHT TO EXHAUSTION. FINALLY, THE DUCK POINTS TO SOMETHING BEHIND YOU. YOU LOOK, FOR A SECOND, AND TAKE A CHEAP PUNCH TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD. THE DUCK RETREATS INTO THE WOODS, FLICKING YOU OFF AS HE ESCAPES!THE DUCK IS SHOCKED! ONCE HE CALMS DOWN, HE OFFERS HIS HAND OUT. YOU HAVE GAINED HIS RESPECT, AND THE LOYALTY OF ALL HIS DUCK FRIENDS.KENNY LOGGINS USES HIS WELL KNOWN EYE BEAMS TO INCINERATE YOU, YOU PUNY MORTAL! WEEP FOR YOU LACK OF UNDERSTANDING!A MONSTER TRUCK RIDES UP NEXT TO THE THREE OF YOU. BIRDS ARE BEING FLIPPED. LASERS ARE SHOOTING EVERYWHERE. DANGERZONE PLAYS ON THE WIND. YOU RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET. FUCKING EPIC!!